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5 years ago By Stuart Burnside

Oh go on, have a two goal headstart...

Thanks be to DC:

Gentle reader,

Saturday 27th October saw the pack of wolves that are the Men's 6's jump in their wolf-wagons and head out to Brentwood, intent on feasting on little piggies in their own pen. What they found however, was a veritable cornucopia of farm animals, and their initial confusion about how to set about their meal led to them slipping a couple of goals behind, although whether the farmers were involved in the second is a matter of conjecture.

The wolves, however, had learned the prior week that patience and confidence in their ability to hunt as a pack would bring just rewards, and they started to exert the kind of dominance that the lead sheep would later comment would "win them the league". The realisation that the farmyard defence was mostly comprised of mutton dressed as mutton led to the wolves spreading play down both flanks via Wolfrey and Better-than-my-brother-Wolf, seeking out weak links with ravenous intent, and before long Jug-Avoidance-Wolf buried a strike to reduce the deficit.

Half-time saw what had been a well-balanced game in open play pause, with the score Prey 2-1 Wolves.

Pack formation was largely left untouched for the second period, as the wolves rained down attack after attack upon their nigh-on helpless victims, and it wasn't long before West-End-Wolf, Wolf-cub and Jug-Avoidance-Wolf had established a 4-2 lead. The prey looked discombobulated, running around like headless chickens, and the defence of Boswolf, Dubious-Wolf, and Morg-wolf under the leadership of Gang-Wolf, had little to do to ensure Lob-Wolf had no chance to do anything silly.

There was more to come, however, and with Bowolf and Port-Wolf marshalling higher and higher, the mutton were caught out trying to play the archaic off-side rule, leaving West-End-Wolf to put one on a plate for an onrushing wolf comrade. However, he had miscalculated. Not with the pass, which, contrary to conjecture later was absolutely perfect, but in the fact that he was passing to Profli-goat, who managed to toe-end the ball to relative safety, sealing his own fate in that instant.

All that remained was for Dyke-Wolf to (mis)control the ball past the prostrate relic to seal a famous 5-2 victory that moved the wolves to third in the league.

History tells tale of another famous battle around this date, where gallant heroes travelled to foreign climes, and despite seemingly insurmountable odds against an unbeaten opponent with greater numbers, despite poor weather conditions, these heroes would prevail and return victorious, committed to the annals as household names.

Perhaps our story will not become synonymous with the Feasts of Crispin and Crispinian, and it may not be true that the gallant 15 will become household names, but it is certainly true that their bravery and heroism on the field of battle should have led to more than 4 chicken goujons, a plate of chips and a two-fingered departing salute.

Goals: Rob Insall (2), Ed de Vries, Wouter Bruinings, Billy ElliotOli Perez
No goals: DC
Commendation for special efforts to get a card but not quite managing it: TJ, Michael J FoxOli Perez
Wolf of Week: Wouter
Goat of Game: DC

Where next?

Match report 20 Oct Some men are born great, and for them only greatness will serve. Others find themselves resigned to mediocrity from an early age...
Thank you Reiteration of thank yous and stats.


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Sat 7 Apr
Mens 6th Team Chelmsford 3
League 1 – 3
Sat 24 Mar
Mens 6th Team East London 4
League 0 – 6
Sat 10 Mar
Mens 6th Team Witham 2
League 1 – 3

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