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Ladies 3rd Team - Match centre

Wapping 3
Chelmsford 3
Sat 10 Mar 14:00 - Essex Women's Hockey League - Premier Division Full time

L3 back on track with 4-0 win

Hold the phone - Princess scores a goal!

I am writing this report with a heavy heart, as it turns out my character has been challenged and my team mates will realise that I am, in fact, not perfect and do make mistakes. They thought it was my first time as DOD. However, this is actually the second. I did indeed get dick of the day after the first game.
What for you ask?
Eating a pot noodle.
Surely that can't be you say, the ladies 3s are imaginative, creative, slightly wild and would never pick such a lame reason to besmudge someone's character.
Well, they must have been having an off day. Bella must have kept her nipples off off the ground, Sandy must have passed to someone in the correct colour, Holly must have shot on target, Babs had no nicknames or goals at this point. Shalls hadn't begun her apprenticeship as a wood chopper, Vicky hadn't had her brick-laying accident, Pasc hadn't realised she wanted to play with us and Rach used language too offensive for people to put into their votes. Roche must have been on best behaviour, thinking about the cutting comment she wanted to make, but being a good captain and burying it deep down, Krelle must have left early to watch the Gilmore Girls and Zoe obviously never let's anything pass, so how could she be voted for? Henny must have been out of the country and BJ must have not been playing, or at least not counting how many people were on the pitch at any one time.

Anyway, I digress. It must be the 7,921 minutes I've spent reading match reports since the start of this season.

After a slight dip in form, where Monger chose hoes over bros, Issy had a wild party that we weren't invited too (I think this made us question ourselves and may have attributed to the loss) and Rach bought 700 drinks in Wetherspoons, which cost less than £8.49; the Wapping Worldies were back on track.

Disclaimer: this will probably be in the wrong order, with the wrong names.
Tenses and 1st/3rd person may also be wobbly.

Despite 2 key players sporting injuries, 1 from Wapping and the other who could possibly have been a spy sent from Chelmsford 297 years ago to infiltrate and then pass them the ball several times to help them try win, Wapping began confidently.

Attacking play in the first 5 minutes saw confident passes from the defence moving the Chelmsford forward line around. Passes down the line, linked the midfield with HRH, BJ and Babs, however Chelmsford held up.
A little bit of pressure was returned, with Chelmsford holding the ball in the Wapping 23, making it difficult to reignite the attack.

The Wapping forward line pushed higher up the pitch, allowing DJ Becky and Krelle to move up the pitch, using Pasc as a pivot. This created space for Shalls to play some lovely 1-2s with BJ. The ball was passed across the D and Babs tapped it in, with a little more force than we were all expecting.

The Worldies were gaining confidence and the second goal came from a run up the left by me, I passed to HRH whilst shouting instructions on which goal to aim for. Princess listened carefully and slotted the ball neatly into the corner.
An unfortunate collision, which centred around an innocent looking Sandy and 2 Chelmsford players just before half time slowed the pace down a little.

At half time, Roche offered her usual pearls of wisdom, which must have worked this time as another 2 goals were scored in the second half!

Great support from Roche in defence and attacking play from Rach meant Chelmsford struggled to get the ball out of the D. She linked up with BJ (how I'm not sure as she does not stand still), who ran the baaaselineee and made a lovely pass across goal. A few other things happened here, but my memory is blurry. Babs may have done something other than tap it. All I know is I lifted the ball, as I know Roche loves it, Babs tried to stand in the way and stop me creeping towards her goal tally, but she couldn't get there in time. 3-0 Wapping.

The last goal came from Shalls, who finally made an appearance today. She ran in for a perfectly timed and pin-point accurate pass from Gandalf. Took on a few players, ran to top D and scored a screamer. Just your average display of hockey prowess from the Ladies 3s.

Finally, the serious questions:
Did we win because Monger wasn't there?
Can Babs only score more than 1 goal when Monger is there?
Who has kidnapped Kevin?

Team selection

Team selection has not been published for this fixture yet.

League round up

Other Premier Division results

Colchester 3
Basildon 2
Upminster 2


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League table

# Team Pl Pts
1. Wapping 3 17 44
2. Crostyx 2 14 27
3. Southend 2 4
4. Basildon 2 2 4
5. Upminster 2 3 3
6. Wapping 4 4 3
7. Witham 4 3

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